SO HAPPY!!

I finally get a job!!!!
So so happy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Knight Frank Estate Management
This is the company i'm going to work for.
I can learn many thins, that's the reason why I want to get this position so much.


Thanks my mom
Thanks my aunty
Thanks my uncle
Thanks GOD


Thanks~~~~~~~~~

灵签

洛阳大伯公庙。

非常灵的一间庙。

很复杂的拜拜程序，因为有12处要上香。

左手拇指被香灰烫红了，起了水泡。

第一次求签。哈哈，很新鲜。

上上签。超开心的。

希望真的能得到我想要的工作。

BUYING LIST

After I get a job, i'm going to buy.......:

1. HP notebook --dv4 special edition

2. ipod nano -- red

3. Paul & Joe cosmetic

PROTECTIVE FOUNDATION PRIMER UV

MOISTURIZING COMPACT FOUNDATION

4. ~H2O

Face Oasis™ Cleansing Water

Oasis24™ Hydrating Booster

Face Oasis™ Hydrating Treatment

Eye Oasis™ Moisture Replenishing Treatment

ANGEL'S WHEEL

1st APRIL 2009

April Fool.........
I was being a fool...
On that day, I got an interview.
Somerset road, AXA insurance company.
When I reached there, they called me and said:" we just want SG or PR,..........."
What the hell.
But I never felt down or sad.
Maybe because I didn't expect anything.
It's time to go back.......

FIRST INTERVIEW

Finally going to have my first interview.

1st April 2009
1pm
111, Somerset road, #12-03, Singapore Power Building
AXA insurance Singapore


Nervous.
Hope my first interview will be great.

I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS

My sis said that I don't have friends.
Yeah........
I really don't have.
She said, I'm arrogant.
It's not true.
The truth is, everyone has their own life. And I'm not part of their life.


Hey.......
Congrats. You finally get what you truly want.

....

充滿歡笑的人，背后是不是都隱藏著不為人知的落寞？

LOVE

I need love.

SUX

LIFE IS SUCK

&

I'M FUCKED

TERMINATE

I've terminated my Malaysia contact number. And I don't feel a need to get a new number or tell anyone I've done that.

I'll stay in Singapore most of the time. This is one of the reasons why I don't want a new contact number. Another reason is that I don't feel like anyone is going to contact me. So, I think this is sort of a waste to have a contact number. And I don't even tell my friends my Singapore contact number.


That's funny. I used to have my phone beside me all the times. But now, I have always forgotten where my phone is. And I don't even care where it is. Just simply because I know it won't make any sound. Even it does, I don't care who is that trying to find me. Not important, at all.




Freedom.
Boredom.
They sit side by side in my recently life now.

FINALLY

Finally..........................

I'm drinking

SMOKING

UNDER ONE ROOF

I have been wishing that I could have a house of my own.
It's not easy to live with other people, even they're your relatives.
Especially when you're living under other's roof.
Everyone has their own ways of living. Have their own living habits.
That isn't something you can change easily.
We just can change ourselves, since we can't change others.

At home, I can do whatever I want.
Put my things in every corner of the house, and no one will even bother.
In other's place, I have to behave myself.
I don't want to trouble others.
So I have to do something I wouldn't have done in the past.
Just trying my very best to become a better person.

IDIOT

Great, I'm not stupid, but an idiot. I should not have overreacted over it. I should not have angry over it. I was really losing control. I felt kinda stupid and childish.

At the end, I did go to that website. What's the point of me doing this, after all? At the moment, I really didn't seem to be able to help myself. First glance, I did think that I was wrong. Double checked for it, okay, great, I was right about what I saw.


What to do? NOTHING. Nothing I can do.

STUPID

What am I expecting?
What am I thinking?



I'm just so stupid, after all.

LEAVING HOME

I'm in Singapore, looking for job.

This is not the first time I'm leaving home.

Last time, I went to KL for college.

I cried almost every night.

I was silly, I know.

But I couldn't help myself.

KL, was a mighty stranger to me.

I was sad, no one listened to me.

It's like hell not to be able to tell how you feel.

I tried very hard to adapt the new life style.

It took me a long times.

This time, I'm not sure whether I'm strong enough to face everything.

Though it's better, as my relatives all here.

But, it's the same. No one is going to listen to me.

I don't know how to share my feelings.

I don't know what to say.

I'm not as relax as I always do.

I feel stress.

How I'm going to get a job during recession?

What if I can't get a job within one month?

What if I'm not satisfy with the job?

I'm lost.

I don't know what to do.

FORTUNE-TELLER

I went to a fortune-teller today.
Well, that's simply because my mum asked me to.
My mum wanted to ask for wealth, and she wanted me to ask for my career.
In fact, I'm a free-thinker.
But I don't mind to do so.
Maybe, this is superstitious. But she said something right.
She said he's trying to contact me, that's true.
She said, there's a wedge between me and my mum's husband, that's true.
She said, I'm a very filial daughter, I don't know what my mum think about this.
She said, she still can see him in my life, that's a question.
He does try to contact me. But I've decided not to let him step into my life again.
I don't hate him. I think I'm a cold-blood animal. I don't have that kind of feeling.
Passionate emotions, I think I don't have.
I really don't know why I refuse to let him involves in my life again.
That's something I never want to think about.
I think, it's also not necessary to think about.
Some kind of joke, that is the part can be ignored.
But something she said did make me happy.
She said, I can get a job in Singapore, south and north is a good direction for me, and Singapore is in south. That's a question too.
Many people did tell me how bad it is in Singapore.
But I want to try. I don't want to give up without a try.
I'm going to Singapore on coming Monday.
I really really hope that I can get a job within one month.
Just try my luck.

NOT LIKE THIS

They're in Kluang. And we got the chance to gather.
Not really nice actually.
I just only enjoyed the alcohol, nothing besides that.
Something happened.
I was not happy about that.
It bothered me more than it should.
And I tried so hard not to do something really stupid.
Just because it's none of my business.
I don't have the right to do or say anything.

I did better than before.
I realized that I'm capable to behave myself well.
That's a good thing.
I have to tell myself
It doesn't matter to me.
No matter what has happened.

RAINING ALONE

DIFFICULT

I'm not going to be difficult again (I'll try my very best).
I figured if I play nice, things will be easier. For me and others.
Maybe, something just simply can't go back to the way it used to be.
However, it maybe not.
It's hard to tell what others are thinking.
But, I know what I'm thinking.
I think, I know what I want and don't want.
So, I have to do something to get what I want.
I have to control my temper and attitude at the very least.
Say easier than done.
I really hope I'm always on my best behavior.
Not so childish and stupid.
Just try to be a bit more clever.
Have to improve myself.

POSTS

Just read a friend's blog. It has been a long time since she had post.
Because she felt that no one cares enough what she'd said in the blog.
And didn't even know what she said was exactly how she felt.
That's my feeling exactly.
I blog, just simply because I want to unleash my feeling.
However, sometimes I really don't know why I post.
Don't know why I'm doing this.
Don't know what I'm expecting.
I'm the freak!!

Maybe, just maybe, I'm too bored.
Want to do something to distract me.
But it seems doesn't work at all.
No, not at all. Sometimes, it works.
I can still waste a little of my time on this.
Except post, what else it there to do at night?
SMS? MSN?
Negative answer.
They are exactly the 2 things that never make noise.
Because no one is ever find me. Or remember to find me, I should say.

NOT A FRIEND

There's not a must.
They really don't have to call me out.
Okay, that's fine. I have to accept this.
I'm not important. That's what I always know.
I should not get mad at it. Ya, I really should not.
Maybe, I really don't have to treat them as a friend when they're not treating me this way.
No need to waste my time on them.


Okay, I've decided.
They're not important!!

GATHERING

Yesterday was the gathering.
Maybe, it's not what i was expecting.
I was not in the mood.
I know the reason so well.
That thing influenced my mood.
I hate like this.
I don't like anything that can influence me.
I'm so stupid.
I should not get influenced by that.

I won't trust anything like that anymore.
I think, to be perfectly true, I won't trust him again!!

LUNAR NEW YEAR

Chinese New Year, is a great chance for us to gather.
Really can meet with many friends.
After graduation, quite hard for us to gather.
Everyone is busy with their own things.
We have different life.
We have different friends.
This holiday, really really a good chance to see everyone.
Waiting for the gathering -- 28th January 2009

TEN YEARS

Ping just told me something, I was so shocked and surprised about that.
It has been 10 years since we have known each other.
WOW!!!
Since 1999 ~ 2008.
It has been 10 years!!!!
Amazing!!!
We still keep in touch.
Be perfectly honest, secondary friends always more important.
And the friendship can be last for a long ~~~~~~~ time.
I honestly hope that, our friendship will be last forever~~~~~~~~~

I love you all.

RAINY DAY

I like to walk in the rain. Feel good. However, so less for my chance to do so. Hence, I like to stay at home alone. I can do whatever I like. I can turn up the music volume so loud. I can just sit there and do nothing. Anything..........

Alone at home. Rainy day. That's the time I enjoy the most. Listen the rain drop tap against the roof. Do nothing. I'm happy. This will be my the greastest day. Most of the time, sunny day makes me down. I don't know why. Maybe, I'm a freak. Walk in the rain. That's what I always want to do. I've done that once, the time I stayed in KL. I walked alone in the rain with cigaratte. WOW, that's so good! Also, one night, I standed in the rain. Just standed there. Enjoy the rain.

I've been hoping where the place I am, is a place which will rain everyday. Few hours in a day. Drizzle will be enough.

Rain rain...... rainy day.

BLOGS

I like to read other blogs.
Every night, I'll key in those blog addressed in the search bar.
I'm happy when people update their blog.
I'm disappointed when they're not (most of the time).
Sometimes, I'm confuse.
I don't know whether I'm interested in those blogs, or I just purely too bored.
However, I've enjoyed reading their blogs.

I've found that, I always blog at night.
Maybe, this is a habit.
I'll sign in everyday, even I don't blog.
Just sign in, then sign out.
HAHA, I'm a weirdo.
I'm not sure what I'm waiting for.
I'm not sure what I'm expecting.
HAHA, I'm a weirdo indeed, no doubt.

RIDICULOUS

You're being ridiculous!!


Okay, that's human nature.
We always just see others' mistakes, but ourselves.
What we've done, what we've said, might have hurt someone.
Yet, most of the time, we utterly don't know.
We just know to blame others, but never see what we've done.

I'll accept the blame.
It's fine.
I'm used to it.

Whatever!!

UNEVENTFUL

It has been a while since I've posted.
Today is 9 January 2009.
WOW!!
Time is flying.
One week is past.
2 more weeks to go, then CNY.
After that, I have to start looking for job.
I'm really worry about that.
Feel like escaping it.
But it's not something I can run away.
Trying to convince myself.
It's not that difficult.
It won't be a problem.
Everyone has to face to, sooner or later.
Hoping the process won't be tough.
Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
I always trust this.
And I have to trust myself.
I can do it.
Yes, I can!!

LOST SLEEP

I try so hard to sleep, but it evades me. That is why at this time, I'm still sitting in front of my PC and posting now.

Actually, I've been waiting for the whole day. Erm........but now, I'm pretty sure that I'm just wasting my time. Maybe, I should give up now. I should stop this stupidity behavior. I should used to it already. I know it so well -- promise meant to be broken. What am I expecting? Really, I'm damn stupid. Just try not to think about it. This should not bother me.




2 January 2009.
Second day of 2009.
I've wasted my first day of the new year on stupid stuff.
Today will be another uneventful day,
just the same as every other day.
Maybe....tonight will get a chance to hang out with some friends.
Don't know, just wait for tonight.
However, better don't expect anything.
Don't...........

......................

I know I'm getting the schedule of my days and nights reverse.
I used to stay late.
I feel so good when there's just only me.
I'm tired actually, but don't feel like sleeping.
What am I waiting for? or expecting?
I don't know.

This is a long holiday.
I really have been hoping that this will be a endless holiday.
I don't mind to stay at home.
I don't mind to do nothing everyday.
Unfortunately, my mum do mind.
I am just same as other normal people.
Graduate -----> getting a job -----> end of my life.
That's life all about, sad to know that.



Don't feel really fine.
Occasions are becoming more and more meaningless to me.
Nothing special now.
He really shouldn't have brought that up.
That's something I try so hard not to mention.
Not just not now, but not ever.
Maybe I've overly sensitive about that.
But it doesn't matter now.
I'm not care as much as before.
Yes, nothing important now.
Glad to know that.
Really..................................................................

END........START........

T_HIRTY F_IRST D_AY O_F DECEMBER

Means this is the end of 2008.

Time is flying.

Before I have realized what I've been doing in 2008, it has already come to an end.

Few more minutes, 1 January 2009 is coming.

And I'm sitting in front of PC and posting!!

WOW!! Great!!

I'm alone at home while all my friends having fun now.

There's a little bit empty inside my chest.

Well, this is my choice.

Between loneliness and hang out with friends, I've chosen stay alone.

Okay, I'll enjoy this moment. Just like others who are enjoying their fun.

One more minute..................

HAPPY NEW YEAR